


Please, Let it out Corporal!

by heichourivaille



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crying Boys, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 20:25:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heichourivaille/pseuds/heichourivaille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Corporal Levi, sir? Are you okay?” Eren asked shyly. He really was concerned about him, he hadn't said one word since they got back. It worried Eren. He sat silently waiting for the Corporal to answer him and after a few moments, which felt like an eternity in this silence, Levi answered. “I'm fine” Eren felt his heart drop, Levi's words sounded forced.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please, Let it out Corporal!

**Author's Note:**

> This one shot contains spoilers from the manga

An uncomfortable silence filled the scouting legion headquarters. Everyone who had managed to come back alive were either resting in their rooms or in the showers trying to wash away the memories that had occurred from the recent expedition. The 57th expedition had resulted in another failure. Too many lives were lost today and it had effect everyone greatly, specially Eren. Eren had watched everyone in the special operations squad get whined out by the female titan. Petra Ral, Eld Shin, Auruo Bossard and Gunther Schultz, he watched helplessly as they bravely took on the female titan. Eren blamed himself for what happened to them; if he had decided to turn into a titan and take on the female one, they might of still been alive. But instead he just let them fight and watched helplessly.

 He was sitting in an uncomfortable silence with Levi in the dining hall. They were sat in the same places they always did; Levi at the head of the table and Eren two seats down. They were the only ones left of the special operations squad. Eren wasn't used to this silence in the dining hall; ever since he had joined the scouting legion, the dining hall was also filled with friendly conversation and laughter despite the hellish world outside. He would have never thought he would miss Auruo trying to imitate the Corporal and give him shit but he did. He missed every minute of it. He missed Petra punishing him for his foolishness, he missed how Eld and Gunther would sit at watch laughing. But what he missed most off all was Levi complaining how loud they were being with his tone dripping with irritation.

 He looked over to where Levi was sitting. He was sat with his side facing Eren, staring into space. Ever since they had gotten back from the expedition he'd been acting differently, he was more closed off than usual. Eren wondered what the Corporal was feeling, was he also grieving for them? Eren pushed the thought to the back of his mind; Levi wasn't the type to spend time grieving for fallen soldiers, there was no time for that in this world. But Eren wanted to know.

 “Corporal Levi, sir? Are you okay?” Eren asked shyly. He really was concerned about him, he hadn't said one word since they got back. It worried Eren. He sat silently waiting for the Corporal to answer him and after a few moments, which felt like an eternity in this silence, Levi answered.

 “I'm fine” Eren felt his heart drop, Levi's words sounded forced. Of course Levi would be grieving, it was his subordinates who had died in battle, the subordinates he picked himself.

 Eren felt like he needed to do something, it wasn't like Levi to be acting like this and it scared him. It was Levi's cold level headed thinking that kept Eren grounded. It encouraged him to fight. Since a young age Eren had always admired Levi, he was as strong as whole brigade. People saw him as the strongest man in the scouting legion and it was Levi who Eren wanted to be like. But the Levi sat with him now, was not the Levi he looked up to for so many years.

 “Are you sure sir? I mean they were your...”

 “I said I was fine, Eren” Levi harshly interrupted. Eren cringed at the sudden coldness he got from Levi. Eren just stared at him, not knowing what to do. He desperately wanted to help him, comfort him but once again, he felt helpless.

 The sound of Levi's chair made Eren jump. The sound of the chair scraping across the floor was a lot more louder than it was before. Eren watched as Levi stood and made his way to the stairs. He began to panic, he needed to help the Corporal and before he knew it he had got up after him.

 Levi was on the second step when Eren grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. Eren tried his hardest to stop shaking but to no avail. The tears he'd been trying so hard to suppress since he got back to headquarters, began to spill over.

“What do you think you're doing Eren?” Levi asked with a bit of irritation dripping from his voice. He didn't turn round to look at Eren, which he was thankful for. Eren didn't want to look so weak to the man he admired the most.

 “I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!” Eren's voice cracked. He hated himself for sounding so pathetic. This time Levi turned around to look at Eren. He was shocked to Eren's flushed face. Tears were still streaming down him face. Levi was about to question what the hell he was apologising for but Eren continued. “It's my fault! It's all my fault they died! If I turned in a titan sooner, they could've still been alive right now and we could be enjoying supper like we always have! But instead I just watched, I just watched them all die! I just watched helplessly as they bravely fought that titan and I just watched like the pathetic shit I am!” Now Eren was shaking violently. Levi was shocked; all this time he was blaming himself for not being with his squad. He had no idea Eren was blaming himself.

 “This isn't your fault Eren” Levi said simply. Eren still held onto his sleeve and Levi made no attempt to make him let go.

 “And because of this you're now hurting too” Eren completely ignored what Levi had said. Levi just stared, dumbfounded. Levi was normally good at keeping his emotions in check and never letting them get in the way. No one else could see through him, not even Commander Erwin could do it but somehow, Eren had managed to see past all the walls he put up around him. Levi had no idea what to do, to think years of hiding everything he felt could be seen so easily by such an emotional and easily angered teenager.

 A moment of silence surrounded them and before Levi could say or do anything, Eren put his arms around him and pulled him into a hug. Levi's eye's just widened in shock.

 “I'm so sorry! But please, Levi! Please don't hide it any more! I know you're hurting Levi, please just let it out!” Levi could feel how much Eren was shaking. How had this boy managed to break down all the walls he built. “Please Levi, let me shoulder some of your grief too” Eren's voice was no more than a whisper and the sound of his hurt voice is what brought down the final wall around Levi.

 “Dammit, you shitty brat” Levi chocked on his words. Tears began to sting at his eyes and his body began to shake. Eren held him tighter in his arms and Levi wrapped his around Eren's waist. Levi could no longer hold back the tears and let them fall freely down his checks. It had been years since he had cried like this and it felt foreign to him.

 Eren felt his legs give underneath him and both him and Levi fell to the floor, still in each others arms. All that could be heard in the dining hall was the small sobs Eren let out and the quite sniffs coming from Levi. Eren felt happy that Levi had finally let out what he was feeling. It pained him seeing Levi look so cold and distant, well more so than normal. All he wanted to do was comfort Levi and be there for him. He knew Levi wouldn't be able to handle loosing his whole squad.

 After a while they had both stopped crying but neither of them pulled away from each other. Eren felt safe in Levi's arms and even though Levi wouldn't admit it, he felt safe in Eren's. For the first time since they'd gotten back from the expedition, a comfortable silence surrounded them. Neither of them said anything and neither of them broke away from broke away from their embrace.

 “Levi” Eren finally said.

“What?” Levi replied, a bit annoyed that Eren had broken the silence around them.

 “I love you” Levi was a bit taken back by the sudden confession. He knew Eren held a soft spot for him but he thought it was nothing more than the fact he just admired him. It sort of made him happy and for the first time in years, Levi had genuine smile on his face, it small but a smile non the less.

 He moved closer to Eren and held him tighter. Eren didn't need him to say anything, his small gesture said it all.

 The last thing that was exchanged between the two, was Levi calling Eren a “Shitty brat” before they both succumbed to sleep. They had completely forgotten they were on the stairs and just after they had fallen asleep in each others arms, Hanji found the two of them.

 “Ha! Would you look at that, it finally happened” She muttered, smiling to herself.


End file.
